Why Honesty is the Best Prophecy

Rather than looking to a crystal ball for what our future holds, we need to be totally truthful about what we want and what we are prepared to do to achieve it.

Do any of these statements sound familiar to you?

• I am going to apply for a new job when something interesting turns up.
• I will try to give up cigarettes when my partner does.
• I am going to start saving as soon as I get a pay rise.
• I will talk to my boss about some time off once the busy period ends.
• If I can join a gym that is cheap, I will get fit for summer.

Phrased For Failure

A life coach friend of mine recently told me that the problem with sentences like these is that they are phrased for failure.

Instead of being commitments, they are distorted by two things:

1. They are being viewed through a long-distance lens, rather than being about the here and now,
2. They are dependent upon the actions of others, rather than being within our own control.

They are also underpinned by a certain amount of self-deception. If each of these statements were probed, we would probably find hidden truths like:

• I don’t feel confident enough to look for another job.
• I know my partner will never quit smoking, so there is no pressure on me to give up.
• Even if I get a pay rise, I’m bad at money management and I’ll probably blow the extra cash on clothes.
• The busy period never ends, so I’ll just try and stick it out until Christmas.
• Even if I joined a gym, I would probably never use it, so I might as well save my money.

The Truth Hurts

If you are not honest with yourself about the reality you really want (ie a better job, a healthier lifestyle etc) and very clear about how you are going to get it (ie. call up a recruitment agency, go for a run every second day etc), you will never achieve it.

This is a painful truth.

So when planning for our future we need to approach it with three open and honest steps:

1. Identify what you are really prepared to work for - a job that pays 20% more and doesn’t require me to work weekends
2. Identify how you are going to achieve it - update my CV, take a course to polish my skills, negotiate on other benefits
3. Take positive and committed action right now - book an appointment with a recruitment agency today

Let’s Be Honest

You can already see your future from where you are standing today.

I have learned this lesson the hard way and since I’m advocating honesty I will share an example of this from my own life.

A very lucrative relationship I had with a major company was also causing me a great deal of stress and unhappiness. I had preached to many of my friends about finding the right ‘jobfit’ but I was also being dishonest about my own situation. When a new contract was offered to me I felt a wave of fear. I knew how it was going to turn out - the long hours, the bitter clients, the unrealistic deadlines that could not be met - but I took it anyway. I told myself that I could control the uncontrollable, but I was dishonest with myself. The contract was a nightmare and soon after I broke ties with the company.

Before I even started the contract, I knew how it was going to turn out. All of the positive thinking in the world could not create a better reality.

Lessons Learned

But in breaking off the relationship to the company, it made me reassess my future.

I needed to get some clarity around what I wanted to do and what I was going to do TODAY to achieve it.

1. I wanted to focus more on my networking and development of people-focussed businesses
2. I needed to build a stronger profile in these areas and be prepared to put work satisfaction before profit
3. I had to take myself “off the books” with similar companies and hit the pavement to get work with the right kind of client

These were the three open and honest steps I took and the future I can see now is a much brighter one.

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