Treat your Man like the Sale of the Century

Imagine that your ultimate luxury item is on sale. Not just a quick markdown to entice you into the store, but a slashing serious enough to move it off the shelf – this minute! Think a Fendi ‘Chef’ bag for the price of its zip, a pair of Rene Caovilla stilettos for the price of the buckle or a classic Lotus Elan sports car for the price of its hubcap…

So you know that it’s quality, you have no doubts about its style and you cannot believe what a sensational bargain it is – but as you eagerly reach towards it, fumbling with your credit cards, you spy the catch in the deal… it is the last bag/shoes/car you will ever be able to buy.

In other words, it will be the luxury purchase that you carry, wear or drive to your grave.

So you take a step away from the item. You shuffle your feet and put your credit card in your pocket. You look at the item again, from all angles, wondering… You look over your shoulder to see if anyone else is ogling it.

Is it so very different to that moment when the person you love gets down on one knee???

The Advanced Stages of Dating

Being a thirtysomething, many of my friends are going through what I call “The Advanced Stages of Dating”. They have tried all of the relationship status options and are edging closer to a sustained, committed and monogamous partnership that just may end in marriage.

I feel as if my life’s work is done – after all, they have talked about meeting their Perfect Partner since we were in shorty pajamas. This is the ecstatic ending of a long-held, often-expressed dream – isn’t it?

Well this is where the catch comes in. Just like the luxury item that seems too good to be true, my friend begins to falter as she gets closer and closer to the altar!

After all, she’s been in more malls, department stores, discount chains, flea markets and car boot sales than she’s had breakfasts. She has enjoyed browsing, touching, modeling, criticizing, comparing, and even returning her purchases. Half the fun of buying something has been in the selection process. She’s a lifetime member of the Try Before You Buy club.

So what if she is now banned from the mall forever?

The first thing I tell my friend is that she has been edging her way out of the shop for some time. It has been almost a natural progression, brought about by her complete contentment with her last purchase. In fact, it has been quite a while since she has been for a fix at the mall and even then she had limited her activities to browsing, her current purchase firmly on her arm. To tell her the truth, none of her friends can recall the last time she touched a potential new purchase, let alone tried it on for size!!!

She is officially in the very final stages of dating.

But The Grass May Be Greener at the New Little Shop Around the Corner…

It’s not that my friends are particularly commitment-phobic. Some have been in long-term, live-in relationships for years. They have worked hard with their partner to reduce their purchases to a single newspaper subscription and even at Christmas and New Year show great restraint amongst the champagne-fuelled shopping sales.

But choice has always been an option.

The harsh reality is that my friends have committed their lives to developing their skills in the art of shopping. They have identified the best stores, have clear expectations about high-quality purchases and have all of the wisdom, resources and stamina that a fantastic shopping expedition requires. In other words, they have perfected the art of attracting quality men. And that’s a finely-tuned skill that can be hard to stick in the bottom draw and forget about!

So what advice do I give my friend as she stands before her current purchase, his eyes misting over as he looks up at her from bended knee, his declaration quivering in the air between them?

Shop Like a Pro

Here’s the sales pitch:

• Remember why you think he is the best bag/shoe/sports car on the block – don’t diminish his great qualities by making unfair and often false comparisons with past or potential purchases. Focus on the many reasons you love this man.
• Listen to your shopping buddies – consider your friends’ opinions if you have to, but make up your own mind. This is not a consortium deal. This is all about your and your guy’s future.
• Don’t expect to be able to get a refund – this is a one-time offer and quality goods on sale are rarely something you can take back because you’ve had second thoughts. Don’t expect your man to take it well if you get cold feet.
• Know what fits you – All of your past shopping experiences have given you an eye for what suits you. When you first met this guy you knew he was a soul mate. Listen to your instincts.
• Don’t wait for the upgrade – the next model may look great in the brochures, but you have already test-driven this one and know it is a great ride. Better a quality man you know, that the next model which might be all flash and smoke when it rolls off the production line!
• Act, don’t just look at it – sales of this quality are rare. Don’t insult it by saying you’ll go away and develop a PROS and CONS list. Either someone else will snap it up, or it might just be full-price when next you visit the store. Remember, a great man is a rare find!

If this advice doesn’t have you reaching for your purse, also consider the fact that another friend just called me to gush with excitement at her latest purchase: a Dolce & Gabbana watch with enough bling to sink a ship. She’s happily divorced (twice) and shopping up a storm, so for the rest of you who like to keep your credit cards limber, I say, “shop on!”

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