Posts Tagged ‘Success’


The Art of Standing Up For Yourself When You Are a Natural-Born Sucker

seesaw pic

A friend of mine recently completed a management training course and offered me some insights into my recent business slump.

Not to say that I am forced to play the spoons on the street corner just yet, but a couple of opportunities have recently passed me by.

If an analogy is to be made of my circumstances, I tend to be the one on the see-saw with my feet in the dirt, while others are sitting pretty with the wind in their hair.

The explanation a la management 101?

There is apparently an unholy trio of forces that are out of balance in my life.

They are:

  1. POWER (has to be in capitals)
  2. Achievement (good news for us completer-finisher types)
  3. Affiliations (corporate speak for relationships)

It seems that when these three drivers kick into gear, power must come out on top if I am to be a success in this lifetime.

Achievement-driven folk also do well, getting lots of back slaps and time on the swings, but those of us who spend our days running around trying to build and maintain relationships will ultimately be waiting patiently in line – right up until the bulldozers come in to turn the playground into a strip mall.

Giving into Gravity

It is remarkable easy to be a pushover.

There are plenty of people around willing and able to do the pushing and in many instances good manners and feminine instincts encourage us to back out before the sleeves are rolled up.

But isn’t being a sucker just a matter of perspective?

Are you a pushover if you:

  • Negotiate for win-win rather than win-lose?
  • Are the first to say you are sorry?
  • Expect nothing in return for your good deeds?
  • Concede an argument to keep the peace?
  • Let others share the spotlight?
  • Take a role in life supporting others?
  • Don’t always have the final word?

Are not such traits more “stand up” than “suck up”?

Despite the get-to-the-top, take-no-prisoners, win-at-all-costs mentality of many a boardroom – and playground – standing up for yourself does not have to translate into stepping on another.

Getting the Balance Right

I personally think my friend’s assessment of my circumstances was flawed, in that it didn’t acknowledge the great life balance.

Take the see-saw example again.

The power perspective – if neither player is willing to spend time at the bottom, the momentum of the game is lost – not to mention the precarious middle ground that has to be maintained.

The achievement perspective – if the game is all about the amount of time you spend in the air, is 50% of our lives destined to be a disappointment?

The affiliation perspective – if relationships are truly relegated to the bottom of the sandpit, how do we find the counter-balance who will propel us to success?

Three Strategies to Stop the Suck

As a middle-child with a peaceful temperament and a career of civic service behind me, being labeled a “sucker” is not a new experience.

But when you also possess a strong set of values and an overblown sense of justice, learning to stand your ground is essential (unless you are content to wait in line for the swings forever).

My strategies however, are the counter-balance to my friend’s three-point critique:

1. Learn the Positive Power of Saying No

Saying “yes” without justification is the foundation of being a sucker.

If agreeing to something creates a negative environment, it is not only good sense – but a moral imperative – to refuse.

But the art of saying “no” is a difficult one to master. Many women have been raised and praised on making people happy and thus feel like failures when they refuse a request.

And yet saying “no” can be very liberating.

If you suffer from the “bobbing head syndrome”, get into the habit by saying “no” to small things. Focus not on the other person’s reaction, but on deciding what you will do with all of the free time you suddenly find yourself with!

2. Focus on the End Game

When you are achievement-driven (and frankly who isn’t, given that we are a generation raised on gold stars), we strive to get top marks for every milestone in life.

Learning to keep your eye on the horizon can be a challenge. All of those opportunities for praise and recognition are tantalising, but they can also draw us into a vacuum where we exist only to please others.

Are you always the first to raise your hand in a staff meeting? Can your whole family (including those in the opposite hemisphere) rely upon you to drop everything and come running? Does your phone ring night and day with people who just have to get your perspective on the innermost workings of their mind?

If so, consider looking over the top of all of those eager faces and focus on what you really want for a change.

3. Find the Perfect Playmate

A staunch believer in relationship-building as the foundation for success in life, no one will ever convince me that an affiliation vocation is a negative thing.

It is, however, important to surround yourself with like-minded people who will support and nurture your good nature.

And then the next time you are confronted by a bully on the see-saw, you can always go off and take turns pushing each other on the swings!


Why This Template Will Be the Pillar to Building Your Readership

Book stack pic

There is much written about the power of the pen.

Treaties, marriages, joint ventures and promotions are all sealed with a sweep of the pen, quill or keystroke.

In the blogosphere, words have the power to shift its axis, so it is understandable that every blogger is seeking an effective tool to create great copy.

While the meaning is of the utmost importance, the pillar upon which the message rests determines how high it will reach and how long it will dominate the surrounding landscape.

What pillars do you have in place to promote your best posts?

From Pillar to Post

This template is designed to assist you in creating an effective pillar article that will solidify your growing readership.

Your pillar articles are in their own way the foundation of your blog. They are the “How To” or instructional posts that represent your core knowledge.

While one size will never fit all – and Rome was definitely not built in a day – taking a structured approach like the one below will give your message a firm foundation.

A. Topic

  1. Know your audience – It is important that you take the time to identify your readership. It may be useful to give them a typical profile or persona, so that you can visualise the person at the other end of your post.
  2. Identify your audience’s interests, needs and wants – It is important to find the balance between what you want to write about and what your audience wants to read. Use tools like Google Analytics and site-based polls to determine if you are hitting the mark.
  3. Identify the aspects of your blogging focus that respond to these interests, needs and wants – Develop a spreadsheet of post concepts, including titles and key points, in each of your topic areas. Put them to the test of a benefits analysis to determine if they are truly responding to your readership’s needs.
  4. Look for opportunities to link your pillar article to the products or services that you also offer. In my case, my core articles often focus upon the subject matter in my inspirational eBooks. This isn’t about writing a sales letter, but about communicating your messages via multiple media.
  5. “Find the overlap between your passions and the topics that social media users already love.” This quote from John Morrow’s article in Copyblogger, “How to Create a Post that People Really Digg”, encourages even the gardeners and matchbox collectors amongst us to write posts that others will read and rate.

Example:

(1) Primary School Teachers + (2) Cheap, interactive and relevant resources + (3) Environmental Awareness + (4) eBooks + (5) Saving the Planet / Free Electronic Content

B. Title

  1. Catch your readers’ attention through keywords, syntax and imagery. Straight titles work better than obscure ones, but if your topic is dry, add a dash of something more interesting to catch people’s attention.
  2. Deliver on the promise made in your title. The key here is to only mention “sex” if that is what you are blogging about. Enough said.
  3. Use one of Copyblogger’s “Ten Sure-fire Headline Formulas that Work”, (How to… The Secret of… Are you… Who Else Wants etc.), as these tried and tested titles really do work.
  4. Match your title to a relevant picture or photograph. Research suggests that thoughtful scenes and beautiful faces work best. For great shots get skilled at searching iStockphoto and Flickr.

Example:

How Throwing Away an eBook Can Help Save the Planet … Linked to a picture of a discarded book in a meadow bursting with flowers…

C. Introduction

  1. Give your readers the gist of the story, without spelling out the conclusion. I’m not a fan of the inverted article, with the conclusion as the opener. Instead, draw the reader in by hinting at the good stuff within.
  2. Make it personal. Readers are looking for relevance, so use an anecdote or ask them a question.
  3. Don’t waffle. Simple is usually better, so deliver a punchy point by the end of the first paragraph.

Example:
The first time I downloaded an eBook I felt as virtuous as a founding member of Greenpeace, for my reading material would not require the sacrifice of a tree or end up in a landfill. But then I discovered how throwing away an eBook could contribute to saving the planet on a much greater scale. By applying all of my years of environmental research and activity to the creation of an easy-to-read, practical manual, I could spread my message and save the trees at the same time. And by throwing it out into cyberspace without charging a cent, I was effectively chopping down the last barrier to support of this worthy cause…

D. Body

  1. Use eye-catching sub-headings. This is where you can let your imagination loose, so experiment with humour and pop culture references that appeal to both your audience and social media users.
  2. Make keywords and key phrases bold. Studies show that the vast majority of readers scan posts, so focus their attention on words of interest.
  3. Use up to, but no more than, three internal links and three external links. There is no real rule on this that I am aware of, but some posts tend to look like a hit and run victim for all of the blue and black text.
  4. Quote from or refer to authorities in the field, recognising them appropriately.
  5. Balance fact with personal opinion. Most online readers aren’t interested in prolonged navel-gazing or aloof dissertations. If you are unsure about your own approach, avoid anything that smacks of email blabber or textbook instruction and aim for the middle ground.
  6. If you are using an analogy to spell out your message, make sure it is obvious enough that you don’t have to point it out too bluntly. Limit yourself to one analogy per post and pull back on other imagery to avoid sensory overload.

E. List

Conclude your post with some practical tips. This is the “How To” element that gives your reader something practical to apply. When constructing your list, consider the following:

  1. Introduce the list by reminding the reader of the focus. What is the outcome that the post supports? To save the planet? To improve their writing? To make more friends? This is also a good reminder for you, as it will quickly reveal if you have gone off on a tangent during your post.
  2. Keep each tip focused on things the reader can achieve. The trick here is to begin each point with a verb, (an action word), such as “build”, “engage” or “explore”.
  3. Explain each tip and offer an example. Don’t assume that your reader always knows how to apply the advice. An example not only makes it easier to understand but also reality-tests your tip!
  4. Begin and conclude the list with your strongest points. The first point makes them read on and the last point is the one they will remember best.
  5. Follow up your list with an interesting quote or statement, if appropriate. Sometimes your list says it all, but other times a final comment can personalise your post and ease the reader out of the article.

Footnotes to Consider

The reality is that a template is only a foundation and you will need to apply it appropriately.

Here are some final suggestions to take into account before you unleash you pillar post on the reading public:

Not every article needs to be a PILLAR article (i.e. an article that explains how to do something or that represents your core knowledge.) Pillar articles are time-consuming and can be difficult to create, so pepper them with micro-posts as appropriate, but aim for a pillar article a week.

Get your pillar articles on the social media radar. These articles should represent your best work, so use your social traffic networks to get them Stumbled, Dugg etc. Don’t have a network? Form one with a group of like-minded, friendly bloggers. Set some rules to ensure the system isn’t abused and benefit from some cross-promotion.

Don’t regurgitate a post that someone else has written. There are endless, cloned articles on core topics covered by Problogger, Copyblogger and the other blogging elite. The gurus’ pillar articles are well known and instantly recognisable so never attempt to pass their work off as your own. Instead, look for a unique angle to explore or feature the expert’s article in your post and attempt to add something extra to the conversation.

Balance the coverage of your core topics. If you can divide your subject matter up into core areas, such as a) Favourite Books, b) Writing Techniques and c) Getting Published, try to circulate through these topics. This gives your blog variety and your audience’s reaction will soon tell you what they want more of!

Only write “How To” articles on topics you are experienced in and genuinely understand. Half-hearted or misguided advice will kill off your audience in a single post. Make what you know and love interesting and engaging and your readers will multiply.

“The instruction we find in books is like fire. We fetch it from our neighbors, kindle it at home, communicate it to others, and it becomes the property of all.”
Francois Marie Arouet VOLTAIRE
French philosopher and writer (1694-1778)


How to Recognise an Opportunity When it Comes Knocking

Door sign pic

People tend to take two approaches to the arrival of an opportunistic knock at their door.

They either morph into the Welcome Mat or the Do Not Disturb Sign.

Welcome Mats are the first to greet an opportunity and often do so with enthusiasm.

They can be easily convinced and are sometimes rewarded for getting in early on a good idea.

On the down side they are also exposed to unwanted visitors bearing undesirable tidings, whose only real interest is to wipe their feet while they case the joint.

Do Not Disturb Signs, on the other hand, keep a locked door between them and the opportunity.

They are wary and slow to respond.

While they are secure in their distance from potential scammers and time-wasters, they also have to live with the regret of the great opportunity that moved on next door.

But there is a third group of people who reside elsewhere. They are the ones who know how to embrace an opportunity while minimising their exposure to risk.

They are the Opportunity Experts.

Insights into Opportunity Experts

Do you really think that Opportunity Experts are simply in the right place at the right time?

Like all good things, the ability to recognise and utilise an opportunity doesn’t simply drop into your letter box. It requires planning and preparation.

Opportunity Experts do not wait for the knock at the door. They go out into the world, with opportunities already in mind, and take action to give good ideas focus and form.

Most successful people follow a simple plan.

They put time and energy into identifying:

  1. What they want to achieve today
  2. What action they are going to take to achieve it
  3. What strategies they will use to ensure their actions result in success

If success does not result from putting their plan into action, they don’t retreat with their hat in their hands, but examine their opportunity from another angle.

Rather than slamming the door shut, they keep it ajar and look at other ways of making a successful entrance.

The Opportunity Community

More than ever networks are playing an important part in recognising opportunites.

The days of the Old Boys’ Club are fading. Opportunity has increased and broadened as the barriers between the sharing of knowledge and ideas have diminished.

Conversely, however, opportunites have also become harder to recognise as people have moved away from personal contact and the development of interpersonal skills.

The reality is that making the most of an opportunity requires, if not a sense of community, then a connection with others.

You cannot be the strange lady living alone on the hill.

Opportunity experts are good at mingling with “the people”, often developing a sort of social antenna to tune into good ideas. People talk to them, ask their opinion and bounce ideas off them.

While they might work hard to develop business or organisational or technological know-how, they also nurture their interpersonal skills.

These skills include the ability to empathise with and be sensitive to social trends, cultural differences and personal needs.

In summary, they understand that every encounter with another human being is a potential opportunity.

Consider the following questions to gauge your own sensitivity to others:

  • Did I discover something new about someone yesterday?
  • Did I speak with someone new yesterday (more than just “hello”)?
  • Did I notice any unusual emotions amongst any of my friends / colleagues yesterday?
  • Did anyone I know have a great day yesterday? Why?
  • Did I teach someone something new yesterday?
  • Did I help my friend / partner / sibling yesterday?

Don’t be surprised if you can’t answer “yes” to many of these questions. But if you don’t try to become more aware and engaged, don’t be surprised if opportunities also fail to cross your threshold.

Improving Your Opportunity Antenna

So perhaps you are a great planner, sensitive to others, a strong communicator with a community spirit…

Then why do so many opportunities seem to slip past you unrealised?

The first thing to remember is that nearly everyone has one great idea that they never do anything about.

I myself have had two business opportunities that I never pursued, but which others have gone on to have great success with. Similarly, I have both business and personal relationships that I failed to fully develop.

Simply put, we have all had moments where we missed the knock at the door.

But that doesn’t mean that we have to lie down like a mat or to retreat behind a “Do Not Disturb” sign.

Instead, try applying some of these techniques and improve your antenna for the next opportunity that comes knocking:

1. Get to Know Your Neighbours

While community spirit may be on the decline, the online community is booming. Clever social networks are drawing like-minded souls together across time and space.

Take the time to develop relationships with good contacts and you may find opportunities coming at you through the keyboard.

Just remember to use your real-life instincts to validate the intentions of your virtual neighbours.

2. Become a Problem-Solver

When people ask me what I do for a crust I respond by saying, “I solve problems.” Sadly, in today’s world, there are lots of problems to choose from.

The important thing is to get into the practice of identifying solvable problems.

Perhaps world hunger is too big to tackle, but there are many problems in your local community that need solving.

Once you have a problem in mind, brainstorm opportunities to solve it.

3. Find Internal Inspiration

Consider what you need to fix in your own life. It is quite likely that others are also looking for a solution to this problem.

Start small – the miracle weight-loss pill has plenty of other people working on it – and reality test some solutions that might meet your need.

4. Recognise Urgency

One of the challenges of recognising opportunities is that they are often only in the neighbourhood for a quick visit.

You need to react quickly while the opportunity still exists, the enthusiasm is still strong and while the solution is still in your mind.

Urgent needs, with their limited window of opportunity, can carry greater risk but also can provide greater reward.

5. Get Creative

Staring at a problem through the peep-hole in your door is not going to open the way to innovative ideas.

“Thinking outside the box” is a tired phrase, but if you recognise that there are lots of other problem-solvers pursuing the obvious paths, then an alternative angle is a requirement.

6. Act Now

The most obvious technique is to do something. No one lingers for very long outside a locked door.

Personally, I believe it is better to follow through with some sort of action than to live with regret.

Just remember that as soon as you open a door to a new opportunity, there is the danger of allowing negative influences and self-doubt to pay you a visit, so be prepared!