How to Make Change Last Longer than Your Lipstick

Forget miracle cures for stretch marks or the answer to a permanently plump pout, what I really want wrapped up in a cute little box is a solution to the eternal problem of change that never lasts!

As I mentioned in an earlier post where I waxed lyrically about the cherry blossom in my garden, spring is now well upon us in Western Australia.

This of course heralds the beginning of a range of “cleansing” routines - maybe even to the point of finally sorting my sock drawer…

Spring, I think, is a far better time to think about new resolutions that New Year.

Not only is it difficult to focus when a hangover is burrowing into your brain, but the beginning of the calendar year in my part of the world is traditionally about 40 degrees Celsius in the shade.

Even the best intentions wilt in that kind of weather.

And to me, change is all about the right environment, supporting the right mindset.

Decisions at the Cosmetic Counter

Take, for instance, the very important decision of changing your cosmetics range.

I’m not talking about foundation that is one shade darker for summer or buying a new lipstick because you like the packaging. I mean a total overhaul.

If there are any men still reading at this point, think of the cosmetic overhaul as similar to buying a Holden after fifteen years of driving Fords or suddenly changing allegiance to the football team on the other side of town.

It can take us many years - and a lot of makeup remover - to identify our preferred brand of cosmetics, but once found, we often develop a life-long commitment to its counter over all others.

It takes a pretty effective marketing campaign to cause us to cast flirtatious glances in the direction of the competitors…

But even if we are seduced by the bright new packaging and free bonus products, we know that it doesn’t really matter if the change doesn’t last.

We can always revert back to our old favourites without any dire consequences - because after all, the change is just cosmetic!

More than a Cosmetic Change

In the world revolving around the cosmetic counter, little is truly permanent.

Lipstick wears off, fake tans fade, hair dyes grow out and nail polish chips before you’ve got the lid back on the bottle.

Is it any wonder that as eager consumers of these short-term changes, many women struggle to make major changes in their lives stick?

I’m talking about a serious, substantial transformation where the consequences of reverting back to the previous state lessen us physically and emotionally.

Major change comes in a variety of packages, including:

• Breaking a habit - this is obviously a conscious change made to improve quality of life, such as quitting smoking or improving your self-talk.
• Creating balance - this includes eliminating obsessive behaviour, improving components of your “wheel of life” and detoxing from negative influences.
• Encountering a new experience - this may be a something we seek out, like moving house or a work promotion, or may be forced upon us, like urbanisation of your community or a new management structure.
• Experiencing a natural progression - this is a change that is largely out of our control, such as puberty, retirement or the death of a loved one.

In all these forms of change, what cannot be denied is that it is a challenge to embrace the change over the long term.

8 Steps to Making Change Stick Better than Long-Lasting Lip Gloss

Forget the three steps to perfect skin.

The recipe we should be focusing on is how to make substantial change stick.

1. Make it real - the first thing to do is to create a vision to inspire you.

   How is your new state, following the change, going to look? How are you going to feel? What is the imagery associated with failure to make the change stick?

   An effective way of making it real includes creating a visual aid like a vision board.

2. Plan and communicate how you are going to get there - this includes articulating your plan and commitments both externally and internally.

   Telling your friends sets an expectation that you will follow through on your plan and positive thinking and affirmations reinforces your internal commitment.

   You can strengthen your internal communication with positive affirmations.

3. Get started - once you have made the decision to change, you need to increase the urgency by getting started immediately.

   It doesn’t have to be a huge first step, but it should be symbolic. If you want to change your eating habits, throw out the junk in your fridge and fill it with fruit and vegies.

   Just do not underestimate how difficult this step is - even if you aren’t a procrastinator! It is the first actual transition from talking about to doing it.

4. Distance yourself from the old - you need to get both emotional and physical distance between you and the old state.

   When I went cold turkey off cigarettes I avoided my local corner store for three months, because it was where I always bought them with the weekend paper.

   Another difficult, but often essential distancing tactic, is to spend some time apart from a friend who may be a negative influence.

5. Avoid the trigger to your former state - This often goes hand-in-hand with the point above. Certain triggers can undermine the change we are trying to embrace.

   Knowing your weaknesses and what can potentially threaten your commitment is essential.

   Take some quiet time at the beginning of the process to work through your weak spots and put some strategies in place to support your change.

6. Develop an incentive program that celebrates quick wins - While the change may be complex and stretch far into your future, it is important to have some “quick wins” or short-term goals to keep you on track.

   Think of these as milestones. When you drop a couple of pounds, reward yourself. When you go for your first job interview do something to make yourself feel good.

   Just make sure the celebration is in proportion to the achievement. In other words, don’t order a pizza to reward your weight loss!

7. Get support from others and empower them to act - Work out your support network and enlist them to help you stick to your plan. The people closest to you need to be part of your solution.

   Empower your family and friends to act in your best interests, even if that means arguing with you during your weak moments!

8. Don’t let up - This seems pretty obvious, but you need to understand that it is much easier to revert to old ways than forge ahead with your change.

   The key here is to keep going over the seven steps above until they become automatic.

With all of the self-help information available today, anyone might be mistaken for thinking that change is easy and that making it stick is a breeze.

But do not believe everything written on the packaging!

Work hard, keep focused and you will be rewarded with more than just a bonus gift!

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