Getting Inspired @ Blog School: The Joys Of Gender-Free Communication

What do you think of when you read the words: talk, chatter, gossip, discuss and chat?

Do you think of women? You know - the girls, ladies, madams, damsels, broads, dames, dolls, gals, chicks???

If the stereotype is true, women should be taking to blogging and blog commentary like ducks to water.

Give them a cup of coffee and they can chat all day long with their virtual neighbours over the fence of every community with a web address.

But is this the reality? Are women, with their famous propensity to chat, naturally drawn to and skilled in this new form of communication?

This is my second post arising from my experiences at Blog School, a regular workshop run by PublicityShip in Perth, to help new bloggers develop their skills.

The lesson that prompted these mental meanderings was focussed on the sub-culture of blog comments:

• When to comment,
• Why to comment and
• How to comment.

The result?

My musings on the gender dynamics in the wonderful world of blogging!

He Said, She Said

It is inevitable in any mixed-gender gathering that men and women will at some stage split down the middle like kids at a prom.

If it is a social event like a BBQ, then the distillation of the gathering into gender groups is understandable. We don’t need smoke and sausage fat in our hair and the blokes would buy a police scanner if they wanted a blow-by-blow account of the neighbourhood’s dramas.

But what if the gathering is in the relatively genderless world of blogging?

Do bloggers and their readers still form sub-groups along gender lines?

Are men drawn more to the musings of other men? Do women comment only on their sister’s sites?

At first glance, it seems to me that just as many men are interested in personal development as there are women interested in marketing or gadgetry.

And when it comes to getting comments from male and female readers, some of my favourite, regular visitors are men, even though my site’s content is largely focussed on the interests of women.

So has the virtual world of blogging tossed off the shackles of the real world’s stereotypes? Are we all grooving together in the middle of the dancefloor, irrespective of who is meant to lead or who is wearing the corsage?

The Clever Art of Commenting

But back to the topic of blog commentary.

I’ve been told that we are supposed to treat other people’s blogs like their homes…

So does this mean the women are checking out the window-dressing while the guys drool over the technical gadgets?

When commenting, do the women engage in polite and careful conversation, dropping hints for improvement like tea-cake crumbs?

And do the men take a quick, sweeping look at what’s on offer and butt in with their viewpoint, often sending the topic on a sharp tangent?

There may be the occasional visitor who exhibits gender-specific behaviour when doing the rounds of the neighbourhood blogs, but in my experience commenting on other people’s work tends to strip us all back to basics.

Choosing you words carefully - to both articulate a point and to create a lasting impression - is the daily challenge of blog commentators of both sexes.

Walk the Talk

The reality is that communication is mostly about body language.

All those carefully rehearsed speeches and interesting bits of small talk that we cultivate are merely the backdrop to the real performance. What really counts are all the subtle signals our bodies are communicating to each other.

When a woman wants to make a statement, she is as likely to choreograph her appearance and gestures as she is organise her thoughts and words into a sensible arrangement.

And let’s face it, the hair flip, open stance, smiling eyes and nodding head are the signals every nervous man - whether at a podium or a wine-bar - is looking for.

But in the world of commenting, this powerful arsenal of signals is reduced to a little yellow smiley face.

Without body language our communication goes back to basics - the words we choose.

Comments in Moderation

So what does the future hold for the “Leave a Reply” box?

We all know that we have totally abused the emailing system, to the point that businesses are actually paying money to have their employees attend Email Etiquette classes.

So are Blog Comments destined to follow the same path, reduced to brutal or obnoxious statements that you would never dream of saying to the person’s face?

I think this is unlikely.

At Blog School we ran through ChrisG’s post “Ten Reasons Commenting is Good for Bloggers” and the points he raises are at the heart of why blog commentary will remain an effective form of communication.

When you examine the reasons why we should feel encouraged to comment, you see that they generally fall into two camps:

1. Why We Give
2. What We Get

You Get What You Give

If I was determined to twist this point back to the title of this piece, I might draw a correlation to the gender-based roles of giving and getting, but Chris G’s honest and eloquent article negates such stereotyping.

As he shares his beliefs about the benefits of blog commentary it becomes clear that blogging is really about community.

By Doing the Right Thing and Making Friends and Influencing People, you ultimately Get More of What You Give.

A fresh perspective, return clicks and the development of a blogger’s eye are all the good stuff you get in return for sharing a little love with your fellow bloggers.

And you don’t get much more touchy-feely - or strategic-minded - than that!

My last comment..?

Can you comment - please???

I’ll even settle for a girlie giggle or a masculine tangent…

Where’s the love?

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