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BlogFive Life Rules Girls Should Learn at School
October 10th, 2007 by Simone
There are only so many hours in the day - and school is no different.
While students celebrate this fact, as a former teacher I always wished there was more time to devote to the teaching of Life Skills.
School - and particularly high school - is geared towards exams that open the door to further opportunity.
But what about the lessons that equip you for success in life beyond the classroom?
We all learn best through hands-on experience, but there are some lessons that are hard to learn.
How can we prepare our girls for love love, failed dreams and those moments in life when they are ashamed of their own actions?
While many of the rules that govern girls’ lives are constantly in flux - there are some things that never change.
Some might call them values or principles, about holding on to your beliefs while the tide of popular opinion tries to drag you under.
But I prefer to think of them as Life Rules: guidelines that act like a life-raft to keep me above the waterline and out of hot water!
My Five Never Evers
Over the years, as I have progressed through many different experiences, there are five Life Rules that have been constant.
Breaking these rules has always led to a lesson I wish I could have skipped.
So, I once again don my teacher’s hat and scrawl these rules across this board.
If you have your own Life Rules - or Never Evers - that should be added to the curriculum, please step up to the front of the class and add them to the list!
Never Be Ashamed of Loving Someone
Love is a powerful force and in its name will will do just about anything. When love passes, dims or is rejected, we often can feel ashamed of our feelings or our actions.
Consider the love you felt a precious thing. Wrap your memories around it and put it somewhere safe. When next you feel the flutter of another’s heart, take your love from your memory shroud and hold it up to the light.
You will find it buffed to a brilliant shine - and all the more desirable because of the care you took of it when others had rejected it.
Never Make Fun of Someone’s Enthusiasm
Enthusiasm is a child’s gift that some of us are lucky enough to carry on into their adult lives.
But passion is now often the enemy of cool.
Resist the urge to sneer at someone else’s ability to see the possibilities in life.
Instead, stand behind them in support - and you might be lucky enough to start seeing things from their perspective!
Never Pretend that You Understand Someone When You Don’t
Don’t think you are flattering someone when you pretend to understand them. Curiosity - and an interest in connecting with someone’s reality - is a gift and should not be squandered.
We all want people to understand us. We all want people to think us interesting enough to explore.
So do not be afraid to ask again and again until you are both nodding in shared understanding.
Never Give Up Believing Dreams Can be Reality
Dreams are not something to squander. How many people in your world have no idea of what they want in life?
Think of your dreams as wishes in a well. You can leave that little coin in the back of a kitchen drawer or you can give it purpose and toss it into a place where dreams gather.
In that act you commit to giving your dreams real form. Leave your dreams in a drawer and they will soon be forgotten.
Never Ignore the Little Voice in Your Head On Big Things
This is the little voice that can be heard, despite the chatter and the static of everyday life.
On little things we sometimes ignore it. We keep the extra change from the distracted shop assistant and tell a white lie to our friend… But on the big things?
Ignore the little voice at your peril. This is the wise, old woman watching over you. She is your common sense, experience, good will and decency.
Her only role in life is to guide your steps. Of all the voices telling you what to do or think or feel, she is the one to listen to.
If you have Life Rules you feel strongly about, please add them to the list or write your own post about those “never evers” that keep you in cool waters.
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October 10th, 2007 at 8:48 am
Oh……….ever the pragmatist. I gave my daughter only two rules - Don’t do drugs and don’t do married men. That just about covers it.
blessings,
julia
julia ward - a BLINDING heart - a writer’s blog
http://www.ablindingheart.com
October 10th, 2007 at 8:51 am
Bravo! As the mother of a college daughter myself, this information is so valuable and so not what they want you to tell them. And yet they do. Know what I mean? Simone is dead on with all this advice. And it’s advice that only comes from being there. It’s not advice that can be taught. It’s advice that has to be learned. And oh if we could only know then what we know now!
October 10th, 2007 at 9:55 am
A very inspiring post, but as the Mother of a teen I wonder how much of this would get through to them?
October 10th, 2007 at 10:04 am
I’ve got sons and those life rules can apply to them too!
My mum always told us girls (I came from a family of 3 sisters and no brothers) to listen to our hearts and not our heads…oh and always wear good clean underwear incase we were ever in an accident and had to go to hospital…lol
October 10th, 2007 at 10:08 am
nice rules; love, curiosity,imagination and creativity…
October 10th, 2007 at 10:49 am
Great advice as usual.
My rules are simple…
*Be true to yourself
*Treat others as you wish to be treated
October 10th, 2007 at 12:11 pm
These are great rules. The little voice is the biggest one I was always told to listen to myself, trust the gut so to speak.
My parents always liked to say “stop look and listen in life as you do before you cross a road”. Not to stop me from crossing a dangerous necessarily, but to prepare myself for a dangerous crossing should that be my choice.
October 10th, 2007 at 2:29 pm
Hi all,
What fantastic feedback!
Julia - your rules definitely should be at the top of the list!
Christy and Rose - couldn’t agree more. It is probably advice that you have to live to learn… but that doesn’t stop me telling all my friends whenever I get the chance :)
Buffy - I’m from a family with three girls and no brothers as well! I also got the clean underwear rule…luckily it hasn’t had to be put to the test yet :)
Reflection Cafe - thanks for the sum up…I hadn’t thought of it like that, but what a nice way to describe my key beliefs.
MGL - Thanks for sharing your rules! Spoken from the heart, as usual, but also good, practical advice :)
Cooper - I’m totally into “trust the gut”. Just turned down a work contract this morning because my gut was not feeling the love! I love that about preparing yourself for a dangerous crossing - too often I just rush right in and then stop to look around!
Many thanks as always everyone! Got my mind whirring for my next post :)
October 10th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
I think all lessons are worth living. A person can only reflect on them after having on some level, moved beyond them. The ideas of encouraging a positive outlook and esteem-building are great ideas that can help anyone who chooses to listen and gain things.
October 10th, 2007 at 3:28 pm
Hi Simone,
a beautiful set of golden rules you have here! Thanks for sharing, I have a 9-year old daughter myself, so rules like these are very welcome..
And I really couldn’t agree with you more.. Schools are focused on intellectual capabilities. Not on the important EQ, and not at all at the life lessons children should take in.. Thank god for mothers ;-))) (though, given the comments earlier, I might be overestimating that influence…)
My own advices are very similar to the ones mentioned before:
1) Never stop listening to that voice in your heart.. it will tell you (how) to do the right thing to others.. but it will also tell them what it is they really want in life, not what others want, or they are supposed to want. But where there real passion is, and in the end, following that passion is the best way to make them happy..
2) As a teacher once told me: ‘the most stupid (or in fact the only stupid) question is the question that isn’t asked..
3) You can do anything you (really) put your mind to. Don’t give up.. if you don’t believe it yourself, you will definitely not succeed
4) It is a difficult one.. certainly at a young age, but sharing with and helping others is something I really want them to learn..
As for most things in raising a child.. the best way to learn them is by setting the example.. so a reminder to myself of these rules is very welcome. thanks!
Good luck on your next post!!
Ellen
October 10th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
Hi Liara,
Thanks for your input. I agree that once an experience - either good or bad - has been processed and becomes a lesson, it is a valuable thing…
But that might just be the teacher in me talking :)lol
S.
October 10th, 2007 at 3:41 pm
Hi Ellen,
Many thanks for the time and care you put into your comment!
You are an inspiring mum and your advice is a valuable contribution to the list.
I’m just embarking on the motherhood process, so I’m very glad to have people like you around as role-models :)
S.
October 10th, 2007 at 7:58 pm
YES! - always wear clean underwear (or in my case - make sure you’re wearing underwear). I ended up in the emergency room and had to call my daughter to bring me my underwear. Augh!!!!!… LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER!
I think it’s important to remember that women set the values and moral standards in the home, relationships, and our communities. We need to teach our daughters those values. The strength of our world depends on the heart of our women. (Feel free to quote me on that one!)
blessings,
julia
julia ward - a BLINDING heart - a writer’s blog
http://www.ablindingheart.com
October 10th, 2007 at 8:08 pm
Hi Julia,
Giggling as usual. Do I dare ask how you ended up in hospital sans undies???
Love the quote!
S.
October 11th, 2007 at 1:15 am
Well… I worked for a 300 pound diabetic woman, needless to say menopause wasn’t working out so well for her. She kept the air conditioning set at 64. I’m a whopping 102 pounds with my shoes on and a good book to weight me down. So, I started wearing tights under my slacks - sans underwear (I know - bad idea - but it was just getting too damn crowded in there).
I was having trouble with my blood pressure - 216/168 (eek!) so my comrade took me to the emergency room where they promptly hooked me up to squiggly machines and gave me morphine. Only after the morphine kicked in and the nurse asked me where my underwear was hiding did I realize that I DIDN’T HAVE ANY UNDERWEAR! AUGH!!!!!!!!
Moral to the story:
1. Don’t try to dial a phone when you’re on morphine.
2. Be good to your kids - you may REALLY need them when you get older (even though they will tell unflattering stories about you).
3. The doctor you’re trying to hit on while on morphine also knows you weren’t wearing any underwear.
4. LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER!
blessings,
julia
julia ward - a BLINDING heart - a writer’s blog
http://www.ablindingheart.com
October 11th, 2007 at 1:59 am
What a beautiful and inspiring post. As a teacher and a parent, I believe these life lessons should be a critical part of our conversations with children at home and at school. Our commitment to children, whether they live with us or sit before us in our classrooms, is to prepare them for the world that exists beyond us. Your life lessons are an exemplary way to do so. They should be talked about, reflected upon, and added to both in our homes and in our classrooms. Thanks for the great post!
October 11th, 2007 at 2:45 am
~ Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. ~
Harriet Beecher Stowe
October 11th, 2007 at 4:37 am
[...] 2007 My Thursday Thirteen this week is inspired by a post over at Outfit Inspirations called Five Life Rules Girls Should Learn in School. In it Simone gives her 5 “never evers” which are her life rules, and she invites [...]
October 11th, 2007 at 7:01 am
Hi Julia,
LOL - What more can I say! Got to admit it is a very acceptable reason for ending up breaking your mother’s rule :)
S.
October 11th, 2007 at 7:03 am
Hi Angela,
Thanks for the feedback and encouragement! If you have any other rules or “never evers” from your experiences as a teacher and mother, please feel free to share :)
S.
October 11th, 2007 at 7:05 am
Hi Amy @ Lives Less Ordinary -
Thanks for the link and taking the life rules to a whole new level!!!
S.
October 12th, 2007 at 4:49 pm
You’re most welcome, Simone! I had a lot of fun with it :-)
October 21st, 2007 at 3:44 am
[...] Inspirations has a wonderful post on the Five Rules Girls Should Learn In School. I would argue that most of these are rules that we all could benefit from. Here’s one of [...]