Bureaucracy brings out the beast in all of us.

It is unavoidable.

Just picture the queuing process inside any government building, the waiting hordes lined up and caged in by less-than-subtle railings.

Does it not make you think of being herded into a bovine line to await a fiery brand on your rump?

And once you are inside the system, represented by some inexplicable number, you may find yourself waist deep in what seems to be mostly manure.

From the phone calls to the paperwork to the rules, red tape and petty administrators, is it any wonder some of us are transformed into Mad Cows?

But do not start a stampede.

There are tried and tested strategies to beat the bureaucracy blues.

Red Tape Realities

In the corporate world to which I consult I am often required to review and re-engineer their processes. The desired outcomes are usually increased efficiency, a reduction in cost, improved customer satisfaction and so on…

Exactly the same sort of things that those of us at the beck and call of bureaucracies are looking for!

So why is it so often a time-consuming, complex and frustrating process?

In the early 1800s British administrators would tie up official documents with red ribbon, thus the term “Red Tape”.

But with population growth and increased demands on government infrastructure, is it any wonder that red ribbon - and the administrative personal touch - became as scarce as hen’s teeth?

The reality is that most bureaucratic systems are bursting at the seams.

To deal with the demands on their resources, they often put more processes in place, rather than streamlining the ones they have. In the end they actually distance themselves further from the customer and from achieving their customer satisfaction objectives.

A process by definition is a routine way to reach an outcome and the outcome of most bureaucracies is not to create happy customers, but to close cases.

From personal experience I believe that there is very little place for emotion - or empathy - in a bureaucracy.

Surviving Administration Overload

But all is not lost.

The fact that bureaucracies are designed to distance themselves from human emotion means that it is rarely used against you.

The stereotype of the petty pen-pusher, glaring at you over his glasses as he hovers a REJECT stamp over your application, is actually quite rare.

Most administrators are actually so in tune with their processes that they resemble automatons. The queue in front of their desk resembles little more than an assembly line.

By sticking to the rules and resisting the urge to flick rubber bands at them, you can usually get a fair hearing.

But there are some attributes that you should look at honing before you think about fiddling with the red tape.

They are:

• Patience - Sighing, stamping your feet and making repeated follow up calls do not help your case. Find a zone and live with it.
• Organisation - Set aside a file - or if it is a really complex case - a “room” to keep your documents together. Develop a system and stick to it.
• Luck - Unfortunately luck often plays a part in these processes. Policies change, systems are implemented and procedures developed. Sometimes this works in your favour. Look for an opportunity and go with it.
• Information - Paperwork is both your enemy and ally. Know what you are up against and define your strengths and weaknesses, opportunities and threats. Find a source and milk it.
• Communication - Learn to speak the language of bureaucrats. If this is impossible, find a translator, but make sure you can communicate effectively. Identify your tool and apply it.
• Endurance - Be prepared for more than a sprint. You need metal, physical and emotional stamina to jump through all of those hoops. Develop a game face and use it.

You may notice that the above characteristics form an acronym - enough said!

Top Tips for a Government Green Light

When you have developed these attributes, you are part of the way there. To see your case through to its successful conclusion, keep these tips in mind:

1. Get Informed - Unless you are prepared to get an expert to argue your case on your behalf, you need to be your own, informed advocate. This means understanding the process, your responsibilities and your rights.

   If you are dealing with a particularly difficult situation, such as a foreign government, a complex case, multiple parties or legal implications, invest in advice from an expert. Just be prepared that no one has your interests at heart as much as you. Never lose sight of your role in the process.

2. Develop a Routine - Bureaucracies are built on routines, so learn to love an organised approach to life. Find a way to build the tasks of your case into your usual routine, so that you do not become buried under paperwork.

   Bureaucracies also take timeframes very seriously. Get yourself a calendar and mark out all the important dates. If you miss a due date do not expect any sympathy from an administrator who is probably drowning in her own overflowing in-tray.

3. Plan for All Outcomes - I remember walking out of the first and only meeting I had with an immigration agent, who for the princely sum of $450 for half an hour of his time, told me that my case was very difficult and unlikely to succeed. Understandably I walked outside and burst into tears.

   But it was a good insight into the process. Set the situation up for success, but anticipate a less desirable outcome. Work towards the best case scenario, but have Plan B ready, just in case!

4. Keep Your Cool - Never personalise your frustration. Your anger and stress is about the process, not the person.

   There is a saying about immigration agents that if you give them lip they will put your file at the bottom of the pile. I never personally experienced this, but I was also never prepared to put it to the test!

5. Learn from the Success Stories - Getting to grips with information goes beyond reading the reams of paper that most bureaucracies generate. Use websites and support groups to talk to survivors of the process.

   Most people are eager to share their strategies for success and to offer you insights about your own case. For that matter, also investigate the stories of failure, to identify weaknesses in, and threats to, your own position. Just make sure you qualify any extreme viewpoints and only act upon advice that you are certain will benefit your case.

6. Accept the Costs - Bureaucracy is an expensive business. Often the financial costs can be quite enormous and may even include travel, expensive documentation and legal representation. But there are also emotional costs.

   Accept that you will not enjoy the process. Anticipate emotions of frustration, anger, isolation, confusion and disappointment. Use your support groups to help you stay focussed and balanced.

7. Celebrate the Milestones - Don’t wait until the final stamp, signature or visa to recognise what you have achieved.

   Identify small successes throughout the process and reward your hard work. It will keep you feeling positive and energised and give you a sense of satisfaction.

8. Don’t Lose Sight of the End Game - Crawling through the rabbit warren of bureaucracy can make it difficult to remember the bigger picture. Keep things in perspective and use visualisation techniques to remind you of your goal.

   Look objectively at each defeat or disappointment and work out how you can turn it into a positive that will result in the outcome you are working towards.

Good Luck!