There are only so many hours in the day – and school is no different.

While students celebrate this fact, as a former teacher I always wished there was more time to devote to the teaching of Life Skills.

School – and particularly high school – is geared towards exams that open the door to further opportunity.

But what about the lessons that equip you for success in life beyond the classroom?

We all learn best through hands-on experience, but there are some lessons that are hard to learn.

How can we prepare our girls for love love, failed dreams and those moments in life when they are ashamed of their own actions?

While many of the rules that govern girls’ lives are constantly in flux – there are some things that never change.

Some might call them values or principles, about holding on to your beliefs while the tide of popular opinion tries to drag you under.

But I prefer to think of them as Life Rules: guidelines that act like a life-raft to keep me above the waterline and out of hot water!

My Five Never Evers

Over the years, as I have progressed through many different experiences, there are five Life Rules that have been constant.

Breaking these rules has always led to a lesson I wish I could have skipped.

So, I once again don my teacher’s hat and scrawl these rules across this board.

If you have your own Life Rules – or Never Evers – that should be added to the curriculum, please step up to the front of the class and add them to the list!

Never Be Ashamed of Loving Someone

Love is a powerful force and in its name will will do just about anything. When love passes, dims or is rejected, we often can feel ashamed of our feelings or our actions.

Consider the love you felt a precious thing. Wrap your memories around it and put it somewhere safe. When next you feel the flutter of another’s heart, take your love from your memory shroud and hold it up to the light.

You will find it buffed to a brilliant shine – and all the more desirable because of the care you took of it when others had rejected it.

Never Make Fun of Someone’s Enthusiasm

Enthusiasm is a child’s gift that some of us are lucky enough to carry on into their adult lives.

But passion is now often the enemy of cool.

Resist the urge to sneer at someone else’s ability to see the possibilities in life.

Instead, stand behind them in support – and you might be lucky enough to start seeing things from their perspective!

Never Pretend that You Understand Someone When You Don’t

Don’t think you are flattering someone when you pretend to understand them. Curiosity – and an interest in connecting with someone’s reality – is a gift and should not be squandered.

We all want people to understand us. We all want people to think us interesting enough to explore.

So do not be afraid to ask again and again until you are both nodding in shared understanding.

Never Give Up Believing Dreams Can be Reality

Dreams are not something to squander. How many people in your world have no idea of what they want in life?

Think of your dreams as wishes in a well. You can leave that little coin in the back of a kitchen drawer or you can give it purpose and toss it into a place where dreams gather.

In that act you commit to giving your dreams real form. Leave your dreams in a drawer and they will soon be forgotten.

Never Ignore the Little Voice in Your Head On Big Things

This is the little voice that can be heard, despite the chatter and the static of everyday life.

On little things we sometimes ignore it. We keep the extra change from the distracted shop assistant and tell a white lie to our friend… But on the big things?

Ignore the little voice at your peril. This is the wise, old woman watching over you. She is your common sense, experience, good will and decency.

Her only role in life is to guide your steps. Of all the voices telling you what to do or think or feel, she is the one to listen to.

If you have Life Rules you feel strongly about, please add them to the list or write your own post about those “never evers” that keep you in cool waters.

There’ve been plenty of popular songs reminiscing about the days in the old school yard, but from my experience both in Australian and English high schools, for many kids “Welcome to the Jungle” might be a more fitting tribute song.

Parents – whose own memories of school have faded or been sanitised over time – often do not understand the landscape in which their kids are travelling. The reality for many students is that survival is a daily struggle. Not for physical wellbeing – although there are still circumstances where this applies – but for the mental and emotional support that teenagers dismiss with a curl of the lip, but which actually obsesses them almost every hour of the day.

You only need to watch a group of students at a bus stop to see nature at work!

But how do you encourage kids to see school as a positive – and necessary – experience? How do you inspire them to use the school experience to set them up for a successful life?

Looking at success at school from an inspiration point-of-view, here are my tips to helping your child navigate – and celebrate – the school jungle:

• Encourage imagination – kids are much more in tune with this than adults, which is why imagination is one of the first things for teenagers to scorn. But encouraging your child to be creative, to day dream, to play and to explore helps them accept change and create opportunities. Feed them up on stories, poetry, puzzles and games.
• Recognise their needs – the important thing is the word ‘need’. This is not giving into all of their wants, or shaping their needs around your own expectations. This is recognising their goals and feeding the fire in their belly so that they can reach them.
• Help them develop a strong self-image – no matter how many times you tell your child that they are great, this will never overpower their own poor self-esteem. Not to say that your positive reinforcement isn’t a powerful tool, but never fail to recognise the superior power of their own perspective. Give your words the edge by showing them how great they are.
• Teach them positive thinking – Far more effective than telling them that they should be happy, helping them to train their inner voice gives them an important tool for life. Often this is something that many adults struggle with, so perhaps work on this together. A great sites that will also appeal to teenagers is: http://www.positivethinkingmag.com/
• Let them be independent – Independent thought and action can manifest in many ways in a teenager. It is important to recognise and encourage this valuable part of their personality, but to also steer it in productive directions. Let them do something on their own, help them challenge assumptions and encourage them to speak out.
• Teach them resilience – Helping your child to recover obviously requires you to let them make mistakes. But to hope that your child never fails is both unrealistic and unfair. Instead, teach them to anticipate life’s struggles. They will feel so much stronger for having coped and prospered.
• Acknowledge real effort – This isn’t about focusing on prizes and percentages. This is recognising and appreciating the real effort that your child has made. Encourage your child to identify their strengths and celebrate their successes.
• Create a place of tranquillity – The school jungle can be a loud and confusing place. Create a haven of peace and quiet at home and encourage your child to seek out similar environments at school (eg. the library, athletics track, music room) Take practical action to reduce the stress in their lives.
• Provide guidance and discipline – Despite all of the hypnotic creatures in the school jungle, you are the most influential role-model in their lives. Teach by example, but recognise and celebrate their differences. Provide discipline, but also instruct them in the need for self-discipline.
• Help them recognise opportunities – Many students expect the world to be presented to them on a platter, which is not surprising given that they have been literally and figuratively spoon-fed for most of their lives! The earlier a child learns that they can “make things happen”, the better. Encourage them to get involved, to be creative and to try new things and help them to recognise what’s possible.
• Build networks – Do not expect all of your child’s support networks to spring out of the soil at school. Help your child identify networks within your family, the community, your church, the neighbourhood and even online. Recognise that kids are more interested in mixing with people who share their passions and support their interests than those you’ve hand-picked as appropriate. Also do your own networking with the people in their lives (teachers, friends’ parents, coaches etc), but just don’t intrude too far into their world unless invited!

For some simple worksheets on personal inspiration, refer to The Inspiration Equation.